Six people can share a flat happily for a year, or make each other miserable, and the difference is almost never about anything important. It is the fridge, the light switch and the alarm at 3am.
Sleep comes first
In a shared room people work different shifts. This is the single largest source of friction and the easiest to solve:
- Use your phone's vibrate alarm, not the loudest ringtone you own.
- A head torch or a small reading light, never the ceiling light, after others are asleep.
- Pack your bag the night before if you leave at 5am. Rustling plastic at dawn ends friendships.
- Take calls outside the room. Always.
The kitchen
- Label your food. Not distrust — a shelf with four people's milk on it needs labels.
- Wash your things immediately. A sink is shared infrastructure, not storage.
- Clean the hob after cooking, especially if you fry.
- If you use the last of something communal, replace it.
The bathroom
- Know how many people share it and time yourself accordingly. Twenty minutes at 7:30 in a flat of eight is not a personal choice, it is everyone's problem.
- Take your toiletries out with you if there is no space allocated.
- Leave it dry.
Guests
Ask first, every time. Many buildings have rules about visitors, some have rules about overnight guests, and none of them are yours to waive on behalf of the people you live with.
The things worth saying out loud in week one
- What time do you leave and get back?
- Are you a light sleeper?
- Do you cook, and when?
- Is anyone fasting, studying or on nights?
Five minutes of this in week one prevents most of what would otherwise become a complaint in week six.
When something genuinely is a problem
Raise it early, once, calmly and directly with the person. If it does not change, raise it with the operator — that is what they are for. Do not let it run for three months and then explode; by then it is a much larger conversation than it needed to be.
If it is a maintenance issue rather than a people issue, report it properly so there is a record.